Return to Mothering - Originally posted 02/02/13

Today I was home with Noah, for the first time in about two weeks it was just us. It was lovely and horrid all at once! Firstly, after weeks of sleeping really late, today he was raring to go at 7.30. I was not. Then he was absolutely ghastly. Who knows why he was in such a foul mood, but he was and it wasn't fun. Yet again, I resorted to the child sitter called TV, and yet again I felt like a completely failed mother! It does work though, I got some things done and he actually stayed still and quiet. I consoled myself with the fact that the morning shows are reasonable educational; today he enjoyed Alphablocks and Show Me Show Me. Both of us had to get out the house in the afternoon, and we managed to combine some chores with seeing a very dear friend. As a family we have been very neglectful of our friends in the past year. Life just seems to get away from us, but that isn't an excuse. Noah of course was not really interested in being stuck in the buggy OR walking around anywhere! It's great being at home with Noah, he is the funniest little thing, he makes me laugh and be sillier than I've ever been, he keeps me on my toes and makes me move all the time! Yet at the same time, I know why I have to go to work! He's screeching when he's cross or frustrated, his whining when he has more energy than he knows what to do with, the need to constantly watch him for his safety and his pleasure. It's exhausting! A crazy busy day at work is easier. I can also see him physically grow before my eyes, and know I need to earn money to clothe him! He seems to be using a stretching rack over night at the moment! Being at work makes me happy, keeps me sane and helps sustain our family, but I find it all to easy to be there too much. Working so much over Christmas really made me miss my little boy. Today I tried my hardest to savour every minute of it. I look forward to more days just being with my little monkey!